Hypnagogia

by He Dreamt of Ascension

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about

HDOA's long awaited debut album.

Available on iTunes, Amazon, and more.

credits

released March 14, 2017

He Dreamt of Ascension is Ryan Steinbruner.

Big thanks to Eric White and Dustin Kessler.

Special thanks to my awesome dad.

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license

all rights reserved

about

He Dreamt of Ascension Missouri

He Dreamt of Ascension was started by Ryan Steinbruner in 2007.

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Track Name: Hypnagogia Part One
Maybe you just need to rearrange
Learn to cope and bite the pain
Well maybe you just need to understand
That things don't turn out like you planned
And maybe you just need to lighten up
Where am I supposed to go
I think I used to know
I've reached a conclusion, but nothing feels the same
I loved myself
Sometimes, anyway
Yet I can't take the change
No I can't take the change
Track Name: Skeleton
I tried to warn you
I tried to help you
I tried to lift you up, you know
I tried to save you
The gift I gave you
You threw it on the fucking ground
You're just a worthless piece of shit
You insincere son of a bitch
Skeleton umbrella of your mind
Guarding you, protecting you
In the royal highness of your denial
They'll find you, yeah they'll find your
Skeleton, of your mind, of denial
Still, remember all of the times we had
Run away, remember
All of the dreams we shared fade away
You don't even know how lucky you are
I'm a one stop pain
And I can't complain
But I can't contain what you need
And you're still the same
And you'll never change
What you wanna see, you believe
Track Name: Scapegoat
Not this time
You're not gonna turn this around again
I could break every rule there's room to bend
I could break every rule no consequence
But you're not gonna fuck me around again

I can't believe you
How could you hold yourself so high?
Ladadadadada and your kingdom folds
And I won't save you, no

What an ungrateful, spoiled little hateful
Backwards, twisted, motherfucking buzzkill

And I know, but I don't, 'cause I just don't fucking care

One look at a dead man and it seemed life was a friend
One taste of human waste and I wanted it to end
One breath of fresh air and I thought that I was free
But I'm bound for the underground and my head keeps fucking with me

I can't believe me
Why did I hold myself so high?
Ladadadadada and my kingdom folds
And I was so naive
Track Name: Rain
Some things are catching up with me
It pulls me open and shows me I'm unclean
It's only to my knees, I pull my wisdom teeth
I need this for me

I peer outside the window
Nothing to gain, nothing to see at all
Nothing but rainfall, it's the same calling me

And if I may, I'd refrain
Just throw myself into the rain
And wash it all away
Track Name: Jackal
If I don't get fucked up, one way or another
I swear, I think
I think I may do something bad
I'm feeling vindictive, but a little conflicted
I can't rest with the enemies in my head

I wanna take you apart
I wanna do you harm
I wanna take you apart
Revenge is the sweetest sound

Revenge is the sweetest sound
Live in the past, live in denial
Revenge is the sweetest sound
Live in the fall, live in denial

If I don't get fucked up, one way or another
I swear, I think I can't rest
I can't rest with the enemies in my head
I'm feeling vindictive, but a little conflicted
I swear, I think I can't rest
I can't rest with the enemies in my head
With the enemies in my head

Can you give me something to believe in?
I'm falling here with nothing to believe
Take me to the valley where my dreams hang
And watch them as they fall from the trees
Not another look in the mirror, I just wanna disappear
I don't wanna face my fears, just get me out of here
Just drown it out again, yeah
Kill my brain, all the same, all in vain, yeah

You took your time to break apart
I came down so fast and so hard
Do you think you're the only one to fall to pieces?

What am I getting into?
What am I getting in?
What am I getting into?
Tell me, am I too far gone?
What am I getting in?
Why must I ask these fucking questions?
(Do you want to be saved?)
If I don't get fucked up, one way or another
I swear, I think
I think I may do something bad
(Do you want to be clean?)
If I don't get fucked up, one way or another
I swear, I think
I think I may do something
Think I may do something bad

If I don't get fucked up, one way or another
I swear, I think I can't rest
I can't rest with the enemies in my head
I'm feeling vindictive, but a little conflicted
I swear, I think I can't rest
I can't rest with the enemies in my head
Track Name: Fall Tonight
So naive in seeming justified
Open up, embrace the other side
Strip myself of any will to fight
I accept the change and fall tonight

Close up the blinds, dampen out the light
Darken any form of reason
Please give me some kind of peace of mind
Give me something to believe in
Track Name: Certainty
You're so unreal I will unravel for you
Spread myself out thin
You're so unreal I will get sober for you
Why can't you love me like I loved you?
You're so unreal I will surrender to you

Just take your time and I will be standing by waiting for you
You made it easy for me, yeah
I know that you're the one who's scared
And I will understand if you never want to see me again
I will be waiting and waiting for you

I've never been oh so sure in all my life
Oh my God, please don't take this away from me
Track Name: Hateblossom
Tell me something's sacred, there must be something I can believe in
Believe, believe, believe

Good girl gone bad
No one's gonna give a good god damn 'bout her innocence if I take it
Can't look away and can't resist
Gotta just fulfill my fantasy, feel her bleeding next to me
Tally up my casualties, I'm going for the kill

Too big, stuff it into the princess to the brim, yeah
Say goodbye to the world of daddy's little girl

You were the one that I waited for
My God, oh my God

All night long you clenched your teeth and played along
Spread your legs to please his lust, held your tears with every thrust
I took the time to self-reflect, completely lost my self-respect
You led your dignity astray the day I let you walk away

If you love it, let it go
Comes back spent and spoiled

How could you do this to me
You were tired and you caved in defeat
Gave away something beautiful, sweet, and precious to me
Track Name: Uncertainty
This is getting to me
Uncertainty
Don't know what to believe
Strayed away from the sheep
I'm a stick in the mud
I'm a fallen away
I need something to breathe
I'm a fallen from grace

Could you tell me the truth
Or at least where to find it
I could try to pretend embracing the blindness

Hey, what you pretending to be
I'm at the front of the line
Nearing the furnace to burn
Caught in the cradle of time

If I was sorry, would you forgive me?
Would you protect me?
And would you heal me?
And would you kill me?

Of all the things that you could say
Tell me I'm fine I'll go away

I'm a stick in the mud

Hey, what you pretending to be
I'm at the front of the line
Nearing the furnace to burn
Caught in the cradle of time

She wraps me in a fleece of denial
But I'm afraid the cradle will fall

Speaking of flowers
Oh how her mouth draws flies
Can't rub the exes from my eyes, and I want to
Delay the consequence again
Chasing the sun, it sets on my sins
All divided, how could she leave me die?

'Cause it's the same fucking thing every time

Speaking of 'speaking of'
I'm afraid the cradle will fall
She is not smiling at all
Track Name: Leave It All Behind
There I was, never such a fool for believing in you
Like I alway do
No I see, I cannot believe I was so naive and incomplete

You disappoint me
What's it you're pretending to be?
I see another fucker tricking up his sleeve
How disappointing
What's it that you're trying to show
I know, I never thought that you could stoop so low
You disappoint me

Bow to you, sweet misgivings
You tell me what to do every time
All of the time
But through it all it's me at fault and I take the fall
You sure showed me
You were right
What a valuable fucking lesson
Do it again
For your beautiful life

Know this is so much like you
You do this all the time
You were a devil's plaything
Corrupting my adolescent mind

You disappoint me
What's it you're pretending to be
I see
Another fucker tricking up his sleeve
How disappointing
What's it that you're trying to show
Oh no, I never thought that you could stoop so low
You disappoint me

There I was
Never such a fool
For believing in you
Like I always do

I thought you knew
It was you I looked up to
And I'll never be the same
For what it's worth to you

You were the wind
You were the wings
Of this entire decision
And as I topple to the ground
I could have sworn I heard the sound of your applause
And is that a friend?
Oh, what a shame it had to end this way
With all the years I could have saved

In the arms of meant to be
You were happy
How could I ever break free?
Here's your happy fucking ending
I was just a little boy
Are you happy?
Take a look at the life you destroyed
Track Name: Miles And Miles Behind
I'm gonna leave tomorrow
I'm gonna reach the stars
I'm gonna be forgiven
No matter how damn far
Track Name: Acceptance
That whore, speak of the devil, I must say
Run away, run away
It's not worth the painstaking trouble you've endured
You've come all this way, yeah
Another friend to let you down, another girl who's been around
The violation of all that's sacred
You'd think you'd finally learn by now, the wasted trust, the broken vows
And now you realize life isn't what you make it
One for the money and two for the show
Three to get even, and forty more miles to go
I know it's my human condition, but your endurance is as thick as your skin
And despite those miles of pain
There's an ounce of empty space
And there's something left that reels me back to you

And times like this I ask myself
Why do I keep doing this to me
And the answer is clear
Because I don't want to be alone, but now
I will not take another step until you
I'll leave it all behind, shed my disguise
I fall, I surrender
I was bad, I was wrong
I fall, I surrender
Track Name: Pendulum
Caught in this contraption with a slew of chain reactions in me
Tried to fuck the system but it's making my decisions for me
Oh no, I seem to be caught in Rube Goldberg's machine
Twenty-one houses of cards rigged to the guillotine
Go to sleep

Distraught and devoid ambition
I stuck around for you
I finally found something to live for
All is taken, all is broken

Wait
You can turn this around
Don't be afraid
This will all go away
Rest assured
Wait
But mostly stop complaining
It's okay
You are only insane
Hold on

I waited for you

Wait
For the pendulum swing
Wait
What tomorrow brings
Wait
'Til I say my goodbyes, yeah
I won't see you in awhile anyway
No

Your optimism is poison to me

Here we go
Another day
Another pause rewind and play
Repeat the pain
Repeat the shame
Repeat the bullshit you did say
Here we go
Another day
And I'm exhausted in my hate
Repeat mistakes
And never change
Repeat the "everything's okay", yeah?
Track Name: Hypnagogia Part Two
Now I lay me back to sleep
Count the damages in me
My dreams are confusing
And nothing feels the same
I brace myself
For what tomorrow brings